“Oh Control, it’s time to let you go.”
JJ Heller wrote the song “Control” for her friend who struggles with self-injury. The chorus speaks about letting go of the control that we think we have.
I have really been struggling with thoughts of cutting. I have been wondering about what it would be like to start cutting again. This past week while I was at counseling I was talking about struggling with my thoughts and my counseling made me have a verbal contract with her about not giving in to the temptation of cutting. As I reluctantly verbally agreed with my counselor I started thinking about how stupid it was that she was making me do that.
And as I sit here typing this I still think it’s kind of silly to have a verbal contract about not cutting I can’t help but think of some of the other lyrics in the song that says “There were scars before my scars, love written on the hands that hung the stars, hope living in the blood that was spilt for me.” Wow, Jesus really did pay it all! Hope is living in that blood that Jesus spilt for me on the Cross! This song is making me reexamine the want and urge to cut.
I pray that you will find encouragement in this post. There were scars on Christ before you even cut yourself for the first time. And as my counselor told me, “You are not bad, you don’t need to punish yourself.”
Dear God, Thank-You for Jesus and the Hope that is living in the blood that He spilled for me. Amen.