I struggle with food. I have for many years. I don’t have the “typical” Eating Disorder of Anorexia or Bulimia but I do struggle with an Eating Disorder of some sort.
Anyway, for the beginning of the Year I decided to do JJ Smith’s 10 Day Smoothie Cleanse. I had tried it out last year and only made it to day 7. So this year I revved myself up and I was so excited to do it.
I had trouble from the beginning of the Cleanse, things like cravings, which a completely normal. But then something weird happened, I didn’t feel hungry at all. I asked a friend if she experienced that on her Cleanse and she told me no.
But then I became hungry again and I started “cheating” on my Cleanse, a spoonful of something here and a bit of something there. But when I was in those moments, I really wasn’t myself. I honestly scared myself a bit.
My original intent of Cleansing was both physical, to get the toxins out of my body and it was also Spiritual as well, to recommit my spiritual “cleansing” process to God.
I feel like I have failed both myself and God in some way by cheating on my cleanse. But i know that a big part of has to do with my Eating Disorder that I need to look into some more. I am now starting to realize that it is bigger part of my life than I would ever want to realize.
I want to encourage anyone who struggles with an Eating Disorder of any kind to get help. You deserve to start the process of looking at food as nutrients and not the enemy.
God bless you all! ❤